The Wonderful World of Wodieskodie

MCC Region 4 (Metropolitan Community Church)

2009-01-23T22:31:00.001Z

The Metropolitan Community Church grew up from within, and has a particular ministry to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and Queer community. Western Europe and Africa (region4) now have their very own website!

read more | digg story

Poor penguin pales at thought of water

2009-01-23T18:33:00.001Z

It's a day for penguins today!

clipped from www.ananova.com

A penguin has become a star attraction at a Staffordshire zoo - because he's terrified of water.

Kentucky stands forlornly on a rock while the zoo's 23 other penguins swim in their pool, reports The Sun.

His keepers say he does not have enough feathers to protect him from the icy water.

Handler Adam Stevenson said: "He was born a bit of a runt, so he's had moulting problems most of his life.

"He's lost a lot more feathers than some of his friends. It's too cold for him in the water, so he spends all his time on the rocks walking around.

"The visitors find it quite funny when he's the only one sat there. He has become quite famous because it's unusual for penguins not to like water."

Staff at Blackbrook Zoological Park, in Leek, force 11-year-old Kentucky into the pool twice a day to keep his feathers clean.

Visitor Stacey Commons said: "He's really cute but I felt quite sorry for him - it's like watching a monkey who's scared of climbing up trees."

Penguin Wedding

2009-01-23T18:30:00.001Z

Do you Pingu...?

clipped from www.ananova.com

Penguin wedding

A Chinese aquarium staged a wedding for two penguins during their mating season.

Wuhan East Lake Ocean World planned the wedding for the two black-footed penguins, reports Xinhua.

The groom, called Little Brat, and his bride, Little Beauty, were dressed up by aquarium staff for the ceremony.

The groom wore a tie and the bride was dressed in a red blouse as they stepped into their icy wedding room to the music of the Wedding March.

For their reception, the love birds enjoyed their favourite dish - spring fish.

For better for worse, for richer or BURGER?

2008-09-27T11:39:00.001+01:00

Two fast food addicts celebrated their marriage with their dream wedding cake - a 42lb cheeseburger. - Wow.

clipped from www.ananova.com

Two fast food addicts celebrated their marriage with their dream wedding cake - a 42lb cheeseburger.

Tom and Kerry Watts' mammoth burger was nearly half a metre wide and weighed the equivalent of about 100 quarter pounders.

It was the highlight of the couple's wedding reception which was held at Zak's American diner in Norwich.

Firefighter Tom, 36, said: "Not only did I get to marry the woman of my dreams but I also got to have the burger of my dreams in the same day.

"I could not believe the size of the burger. It was just incredible. Everything has just been amazing. It was the best day ever."

Kerry, also 36, added: "We love burgers and thought it would be a bit of fun. It made the day even more special. We love chocolate too so we also had a chocolate cake."

It took butcher John Baxter a whole day to create and shape the giant burger which weighed 400oz when uncooked.

Six legged bull (pic)

2008-09-01T12:11:00.001+01:00

Wow. A six legged bull is certainly a novelty.

clipped from www.ananova.com

The owner of a six-legged bull in China is holding out for a higher price.

Li Guolin, a farmer in Yantou village, Kunming, says he's been offered 36,000 yuan, nearly £3,000, for the bull.

But he told Metropolis Times: "I want to wait a bit longer, perhaps there will be a higher price offered for it."

The 18-month-old bull was born with two small extra legs on it's back.

Li added: "I bought it a year ago from a neighbouring village for 800 yuan (£65), and as it grew up the two back legs became more and more obvious.

"Every day people come to visit the bull to see it for themselves."

Pop out and drop off some bombs, dear?

2008-09-01T12:09:00.001+01:00

I want to award this a stupid award, but there are so many stupider places she could have dropped them off at...

clipped from www.oregonlive.com

HILLSBORO -- Washington County sheriff's deputies were surprised Saturday evening, when a woman brought in a box of 32 high-explosive bombs used to scare seals from fishing grounds and piers.
No one was injured in the incident.

Leanne Wade, 56, of Hillsboro told deputies she confiscated the seal bombs from her friend's 21-year-old son in Seattle earlier Saturday, then drove them to Hillsboro to turn them in for destruction. She placed the seal bombs on a counter in the after-hours lobby of the sheriff's records department around 6:50 p.m.

Deputies soon called in Portland's bomb squad to safely dispose of the explosives.

They then interviewed Wade and determined that no harm was intended. No criminal charges are expected, said Sgt. Bob Ray, sheriff's spokesman.

They are classified as high explosives under federal law. To legally detonate one, a permit is required from the federal Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms.

DIY - Taj Mahal

2008-08-29T12:20:00.001+01:00

God, I LOVE Lego! The Christmas list is already written...

clipped from www.ananova.com

Lego has launched the biggest model in its 74-year history - a 5,922-piece replica of the Taj Mahal.

Priced at £200 the model will be on sale from September and is considered to be so tricky that only those over the age of 14 are recommended to tackle it.

When finished the model measures 3ft wide and 2ft tall and uses a whopping 800 more Lego bricks than the company's next biggest model - the Star Wars Millennium Falcon.

Lego spokeswoman Jenny Brown said the Taj Mahal model was designed only for very experienced enthusiasts, adding: "It will certainly present a worthy challenge to most Lego fans - but a fun one".

The original Taj Mahal, in northern India, was built in the 17th century in memory of an emperor's wife. It took 22 years and 20,000 workers.

It won't take Lego fans quite as long; they can build their own replica, complete with domes, minarets, arches and stairs, in a little under 40 hours.

Treetop restaurant (pics)

2008-08-26T11:36:00.001+01:00

Very cool!

clipped from www.weirdasianews.com

It is every kid’s dream to one day make the coolest tree house and live in it. In Okinawa, Japan, that dream has become one person’s reality… except they made it a restaurant instead of a home.

Just north of the Okinawa airport on highway 58, the restaurant sits perfectly on top of a massive Gajumaru tree’s huge branches about 20 ft above the ground and looking out over the ocean.

The restaurant has a reputation of being quiet and elegant, while serving some of the best Japanese, Thai, Korean, Chinese and Indian food in all of Okinawa.

Customers have to climb a spiral stairway to get to the restaurant.

The ultimate speed bump

2008-08-26T11:34:00.001+01:00

Uhuh. You would want to be careful...

clipped from www.weirdasianews.com

The local government in ShanXi province, China, decided they had enough of people speeding on their highways.

In an effort to stop speeders once and for all, they built a 100 foot long and 2 foot high winding speed block in the middle of the Jing Zhuang highway.

"It was THIS big! Honest!"

2008-08-25T10:59:00.001+01:00

"They hadn't no more than closed the door than the cat hit the cricket and took off," Mr Hayes told the Hickory Daily Record.

- what a quote!

clipped from www.ananova.com

A man in the US has managed to catch and land a record-breaking catfish on a Barbie fishing rod just 2-and-a-half feet long.

David Hayes and his 3-year-old granddaughter Alyssa were angling in the pond behind his Wilkes County home when she asked him to hold her rod while she nipped to the loo.

"They hadn't no more than closed the door than the cat hit the cricket and took off," Mr Hayes told the Hickory Daily Record.

"He turned the water over and I saw his tail was about as wide as my two hands."

Alyssa returned to find her grandad battling with the monster fish.

"She said, 'Papa, you're going to break my rod,' because it was bent double," said Mr Hayes.

After 25 minutes, the pink plastic toy prevailed and Mr Hayes landed the 21 lbs,1oz catfish on the 6 lbs test line.

At 32 inches long, it was 2 inches longer than the rod.

A state fisheries biologist from North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission has certified the record, which was nearly three pounds over the previous mark.

Skateboarding tortoise!

2008-08-19T10:31:00.001+01:00

Video at source - it wouldn't clip! Genius.

clipped from www.metro.co.uk

Here's a truly radical solution for getting Arava the disabled tortoise's love life moving again.

She was fitted with a customised skateboard after her back legs packed up and now the ten-year-old female is mating again.

Staff at Jerusalem's Biblical Zoo fitted the disabled 25kg (4st) spurred tortoise with the strap-on board after she arrived from another Israeli zoo.

Her renewed mobility has meant that a romance has blossomed with an amorous ten-year-old male.

World's fastest office chair: two arrested

2008-08-19T10:21:00.001+01:00

I want to see a picture of this!

clipped from www.ananova.com

Police in Germany have confiscated what's thought to be the world's fastest office chair.

Two 17-year-olds had pimped up the offending seat by adding a lawnmower engine, bicycle brakes and a metal frame.

The teenagers claimed they had only tested their contraption by riding it a few metres, but witnesses had reported seeing it whizzing about all over the streets of Gross-Zimmern.

The pair were arrested. Officers are considering charging them with a variety of offences - including riding a vehicle without insurance, licences or registration.

Flat Earth Theories

2008-08-15T12:15:00.001+01:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth_Society

Hmm.

clipped from www.foxnews.com

Global warming? Somewhat controversial. Evolution? Even more so.

Still, there's one well-founded scientific notion that everyone can agree upon: The Earth is round, like a ball.

Right? Well, maybe not. The BBC reports that the Flat Earth Society, thought to have been crippled by the death of its leader in 2001, is still hanging on, somewhat bemusedly.

"People are definitely prejudiced against flat-Earthers," Tennessee-based computer scientist and society member John Davis tells the BBC. "Many use the term 'flat-Earther' as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism."

But, Davis and his fellow "anti-globularists" insist, their beliefs are based in scientific fact.

"The Earth is, more or less, a disc," states James McIntyre, a Briton who helps run the Flat Earth Society's Web site. "Obviously it isn't perfectly flat, thanks to geological phenomena like hills and valleys. It is around 24,900 miles in diameter."

Bacon in a can

2008-08-14T13:46:00.001+01:00

I don't have words....This one is unopened, almost 20 years old - and worth it's weight in gold!

You can check out the contents here: http://www.canned-bacon.com/thebaconoutofthecan.html

clipped from www.canned-bacon.com

Gnome sweet home

2008-08-13T11:09:00.001+01:00

More of the tale at source.

clipped from www.ananova.com

A gnome taken from it's owners garden seven months ago has been returned accompanied by a photo album showing his adventures.

In the album Murphy the gnome is picutred on a beach and hiking down a mountain.

On his adventures he travelled to South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, China, Hong Kong and Laos reports Daily Mail.

The gnome and album were placed on owner Eve Stuart Kelso's doorstep accompained by a note.

The letter said: 'Hello! First of all I feel I should explain my prolonged absence. A gnome's life is full of time for reflection, and whilst surveying your garden one summer morning, I began to get itchy feet.

'There have been high points, low points, and positively terrifying points. But I have survived - small thanks to the companion with whom I have shared all these moments.'

It's official, a gobstopper is an offensive weapon...

2008-08-12T11:02:00.001+01:00

It was apparently "a substantial piece of confectionary"!

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A man caught carrying a large gobstopper in a sock has been fined £400 after it was found to be an offensive weapon.

Jamie Harvey, 20, said he needed it for protection after he was attacked.

At Edinburgh Sheriff Court he admitted carrying the snooker ball-sized gobstopper and sock at a city leisure centre on 19 December last year.

Defence agent Matthew Nicholson said the sweet was "a substantial piece of confectionary" which could be eaten.

The court heard how unemployed Harvey, from the Maybury area of Edinburgh, kept the gobstopper under his car seat.

He was caught at Drumbrae Leisure Centre by police who were searching for cannabis.

Sheriff Kenneth McIver told him that, even though it was not in the same category as a knife or axe, it was capable of inflicting a nasty injury.

"You will be aware of the ongoing national debate on offensive weapons including knives," he told Harvey.

"But all too often this court has to consider other improvised weapons like this."

Long distance motorcycle jump record

2008-08-11T12:19:00.001+01:00

Cool!

clipped from blameitonthevoices.blogspot.com

Distance jumper Ryan Cape breaks the world record with his latest stunt: 390ft 4in.

Watch video

He has also broken the record for height (78') and distance over an open gap (348').

Scientist torches neighbour's garden

2008-07-17T23:35:00.001+01:00

A Fire Brigade spokesman said: "People should be extremely careful when they use blowtorch devices such as these in their gardens."

Today's stupid contest winner!

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Scottish scientist using a mini-blowtorch to kill weeds accidentally incinerated his neighbours' front garden.

Robert Gailey, 79, watched in horror as sparks from a gas-powered garden tool caused the lawn and shrubs of his neighbours, Stuart and Phyliss McLean, to catch light.

Mr Gailey had been using a Weed Wand, a £20 hand-held flaming device which burns weeds, to treat the driveway of his semi-detached home in Paisley, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Within seconds, the McLeans's manicured lawn and evergreen trees were aflame and Mr Gailey's wife, Mary, called the Fire Brigade.

Mr Gailey, who holds a 1st in science from Glasgow University, admitted his embarrassment over the blunder: "I had been using the Weed Wand to get rid of weeds on my driveway.

"A couple of sparks had come off and before I knew it they had started a blaze in the garden next door.

"I may be over 70 but I ran to get the hose from my back garden but unfortunately the flames had taken hold.

NASA: pees please...

2008-07-17T23:30:00.001+01:00

The story was apparently, leaked...

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Nasa plea for urine donations has been leaked, leading to a flood of offers.

The US space programme is seeking urine from workers at the Johnson Space Centre in Houston, Texas, so it can create the perfect space lavatory.

It's for the new Orion space capsule which will eventually take astronauts to the moon, reports the Daily Telegraph.

John Lewis, Nasa's head of life support systems for Orion, said the Orion will be in space for up to six months while astronauts work on the moon, so getting rid of urine is a pressing issue.

To design, build and test the systems, Nasa needs nearly eight gallons of urine every day - about the total daily output of 30 people.

Nasa has a long-standing tradition of collecting samples from its workers to help design better space toilets because "you can't make fake urine," Mr Lewis said.

It also calls for urine to be fresh, no more than an hour old. "We suggest that morning urine be collected at home, but not night-time urine," the memo states

Woman kills husband with couch.

2008-07-13T13:15:00.001+01:00

Patience only goes sofa...

clipped from www.metro.co.uk

A Russian woman in St Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported.

St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.

The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space.

The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying.

The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband.

Police refused to comment.

Man finds rattlesnake. Keeps as pet. Guess what...

2008-07-13T13:13:00.001+01:00

Stupid contest winner

clipped from www.recordonline.com

BLOOMING GROVE — A 69-year-old man was bitten Thursday by a timber rattlesnake that he was keeping as a pet, police said.
Guy Gravenson was airlifted to Jacobi Medical Center in New York City from his home in Mountain Lodge Park. Jacobi was the closest hospital with anti-venom, Blooming Grove police said. Gravenson’s status was not immediately available. Police said he was vomiting blood when they arrived at his home, an effect of the snake’s toxic venom. Gravenson kept the snake in a glass fish tank, and was bitten while handling it around 1 p.m.
A snake handler captured the snake and released it into the wild. Timber rattlesnakes are indigenous here, especially in mountainous regions. It’s illegal to kill or handle them without a state permit.
Adam Bosch

Doggy dudes hit the surf

2008-07-05T18:19:00.001+01:00

Rock on!

clipped from www.ananova.com

About 60 doggy dudes have been taking to the waves for America's largest surfing competition for dogs.

Kitted out in surf-wear, including Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses, the dogs competed in the 3rd Annual Loews Coronado Bay Resort Surf Dog Competition at Imperial Beach in California.

Each dog and team had three waves to impress the judges who were scoring on confidence level, length of ride and overall ability to "grip it and rip it."

But there could only be one top dog in each category and TJ the Spanish spaniel took first place in the 'Small surf dogs' category, Stoli the black Lab scooped gold in the 'Large' surf dogs category, and Zoey the Jack Russell (with his owners) fetched first in the 'Teams' category - dogs surfing with their owners.

Fire rescue for woman stuck up tree

2008-07-05T18:17:00.001+01:00

Stupid contest winner.

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A woman who climbed 20ft up a tree to help a trapped cat had to be rescued by firefighters after getting stranded.

The woman, aged in her 20s, went to help feline Mercedes who had been trapped in a neighbour's tree for almost two days.

But a branch broke beneath her and she was also left stranded in the tree on Essex Hall Road in Colchester, Essex.

Fire crews helped the woman down from the tree using ladders, while the cat eventually made its own way down.

Local resident Elly Hinkins said she had called the RSPCA after she heard a cat's cries for help and spotted Mercedes up a tree in her driveway.

Ms Hinkins, who is not Mercedes' owner, was told to inform the fire brigade if the cat remained trapped after three days.

But she called them a day earlier after spotting the would-be rescuer stuck up the tree along with the cat.

"She didn't want me to call the fire brigade but I said there was no way I was having her falling out of the tree and she just couldn't get down.

World bike bog snorkelling championships

2008-07-05T18:12:00.001+01:00

I have bog snorkelled. It was bad enough without a bike. Video at source.

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

Biking through a muddy bog wearing lead weights isn't exactly what most people like to do with their weekends.
But for madcap sport fans the World Mountain Bike Bog Snorkelling Championships is a must-do event.
As the Tour de France started in Brittany, in the Powys town of Llanwrtyd Wells, cyclists headed for the bottom of a 6ft deep peat bog wearing a mask and snorkel on Saturday.
On Sunday, they take on the gruelling challenge of The Bog Triathlon.
Both events are spin-offs of the popular - and now notorious - World Bog Snorkelling Championship, which takes place in the picturesque town every August Bank Holiday.
Competitors first added a mountain bike to the bog-snorkelling proceedings in 2005 and it has been growing in popularity ever since.
Those who accept the challenge use a bike prepared with a lead-filled frame and water-filled tyres to ensure grip on the pond bottom.

Real Snail Mail

2008-06-17T15:33:00.001+01:00

Each snail is fitted with a tiny capsule which holds a Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) chip. RFID allows objects to communicate over short distances.

Users of the service send a message via the Real Snail Mail website which is routed to the tank at the speed of light to await collection by a snail "agent".

As the three snails slowly amble around the tank, they occasionally come into range of an electronic reader, which attaches the e-mail message to the RFID chip.

The electronic messages are then physically carried around the tank by the snails until one of the gastropods passes close to a second reader.

It is then forwarded over the net in the usual way.

"It could be quite frustrating for some people," Vicky Isley, one of the artists told BBC News. "It's completely subverting that normal system."

http://www.boredomresearch.net/rsm/

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

Muriel, Austin and Cecil are snails for the electronic age.
The gastropods have been fitted with equipment to allow them to send e-mails on behalf of visitors to a website.
Instead of instantaneous communication, sent messages will travel at 0.03mph (0.05km/h) and could take days, weeks or even months to arrive.
It is part of a "slow art" project called Real Snail Mail at Bournemouth University in the UK which will be showcased in Los Angeles in August.
"One thing technology promises us is speed, acceleration, more of everything in less time," said Paul Smith, a visual artist working on the project.
"Culturally, we seem obsessed with immediacy. Time is not to be taken but crammed to bursting point."

Pot-head dog

2008-06-02T10:00:00.001+01:00

They don't mention what happened to mouse though...

clipped from www.metro.co.uk

Hector the dog was left howling in frustration after he took an unfortunate turn during a mouse hunt.

The Norfolk terrier got his head wedged in an owl-shaped earthenware pot after chasing the creature into it.

Owner Molly Mapes couldn't pull off the heavy ornament and had to call firefighters to rescue her pet.

They used hydraulic equipment – normally used to cut casualties from cars – to free her five-year-old pet, who was not hurt in his escapade.

'Hector was rushing around the garden, bumping into things. I don't know whether he thought the mouse had gone in the pot but he went in after it. He is quite a chunky lad and got stuck.'

The terrier could breathe because the ornament had holes in it and the firefighters used a screwdriver to enlarge them.

Matchstick Hogwarts

2008-06-02T09:44:00.001+01:00

Fabulous.

clipped from www.ananova.com

An Iowa man has built an unbelievably detailed scale model of Harry Potter's Hogwarts school - out of 602,000 matchsticks.

Pat Acton, 55, of Gladbrook, took more than two years to complete the model which features all the turrets, walkways and towers seen in the films.

"I love the books and consider myself a Harry Potter fan," he said.

Pat has spent more than 30 years creating amazing sculptures from wooden sticks. He started because he wanted to take up woodworking but couldn't afford the tools.

After finding a box of wooden kitchen matches at his local store he began to experiment and soon knocked up a church using 500 matchsticks.

He is now working on a stunning scale model of the Minas Tirith fortified city as seen in the Lord of the Rings film trilogy.

Pat, who works as a careers advisor at a local community college, said: "The Minas Tirith model will contain hundreds of city buildings," explains Pat. "It will also be topped with the Tree of Gondor and the White Tower of Etchelion.

Buy a car, get a free gun

2008-05-24T08:59:00.001+01:00

He added that the promotion was inspired by recent comments from one of the Democratic nominees for the presidential election, saying: "We did it because of Barack Obama.

"He said all those people in the Midwest, you've got to have compassion for them because they're clinging to their guns and their Bibles. I found that quite offensive. We all go to church on Sunday and we all carry guns."

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A car dealership in the United States is offering a free handgun with every vehicle sold.

Max Motors in Butler, Missouri, says sales have quadrupled since the start of the offer.

Customers can choose between a gun or a $250 (£125) gas card, but most so far have chosen the gun.

Owner Mark Muller said: "We're just damn glad to live in a free country where you can have a gun if you want to."

The dealership sells new and old vehicles, including General Motors and Ford cars and trucks, and its logo shows a cowboy holding a pistol.

It has sold more than 30 cars and trucks in the past three days, an increase which the owners put down to their promotional offer.

Mr Muller said that every buyer so far "except one guy from Canada and one old guy" chose the gun, rather than the gas card.

He recommends a Kel-Tec .380 pistol, which he describes as "a nice little handgun that fits in your pocket".

Pet skunk creates a stink

2008-05-23T12:53:00.001+01:00

Ceewwwwte

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A woman who has been turning heads by taking her pet skunk for a walk on a lead has been told by a council that it has to go, BBC Scotland can reveal.
Hannah Chapman, 23, takes de-scented Ichi for walks in Aberdeen.
People have been stopping her to take pictures of the unusual sight in the Rosemount area of the city

However, an Aberdeen City Council spokeswoman said: "Miss Chapman does not have permission to keep a skunk in her council flat." She can appeal.

The spokeswoman said: "She has been told that she cannot keep the animal in a council property. Miss Chapman has been given seven days notice of this.

"If she wishes to, Miss Chapman can submit a letter to the council appealing against the decision. If she does so, the situation will be reviewed."

Hannah explained: "I just had the council round and they said they would not give me permission.

"If the worst comes to the worst I will have to think about moving - there's no chance of getting rid of Ichi."

Tight-rope walking dog

2008-05-23T12:49:00.001+01:00

Does exactly what it says on the tin!

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Chinese dog has performed a breathtaking high wire stunt in front of thousands of spectators.

The two-year-old Tibetan mastiff called Hu Hu (Tiger) performed the stunt at a special event to showcase dog tricks in Chongqing city.

They watched as he climbed to the top of a four metre platform and balanced along two thin steel wires.

Spectators held their breath and occasionally called out "slow down, slow down" to Hu Hu.

He paused occasionally before completing the 10 metre walk to the other end.

The dog's owner, Mr. He, says Hu Hu was a gift from a friend. He trained Hu Hu for more than a year to walk across wires, reports Chongqing Business News.

How to infuriate someone

2008-05-22T18:20:00.001+01:00

So, what's the T stand for?

clipped from www.malfunctionjunction.net

Donkey jailed

2008-05-22T07:28:00.001+01:00

Chiapas police have thrown animals in the slammer before, including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands in March.

In 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days after biting someone. His owners were fined £9.

clipped from www.metro.co.uk

A donkey is doing time in southern Mexico for assault and battery.

The animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in Chiapas state, police said Monday.

Officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey will remain behind bars until its owner agrees to pay the men's medical bills

"Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed," Gomez said - "no matter who they are."

The owner, Mauro Gutierrez, said he would try to reach a friendly arrangement to pay the men's bills, estimated at £210.

The victims said the donkey bit Genaro Vazquez, 63, in the chest on Sunday and then kicked 52-year-old Andres Hernandez as he tried to come to the rescue, fracturing his ankle.

"All of a sudden, the animal was on top of us like it was rabid," Hernandez said.

Police said it took a half-dozen men to control the enraged burro.

Giant Roving Red Stilleto (pic)

2008-05-22T07:24:00.001+01:00

Hehe.

clipped from www.metro.co.uk

Roving Red Stiletto motorcycle zooms down the road. The heel took to the streets in celebration of the new Marshalls Shoe Megashop stores in Palm Beach County, US.

What a dope

2008-05-21T09:41:00.001+01:00

We have today's stupid contest winner!

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A New Zealand man who tried to barter marijuana for snacks overlooked one important problem - a policeman was standing right behind him.

Wade Churchward, 28, paid a late-night visit to a Wellington petrol station to buy chocolates and crisps.

When - with the sweets half-eaten - he realised he had no money, he offered the cashier 12g of marijuana and a pipe for smoking it.

But he failed to notice the police car outside and the officer next in line.

The policeman promptly arrested the mechanic who, the Dominion Post said, had been drinking.

On Monday he pleaded guilty to possessing cannabis and other unrelated charges, the newspaper said, and will be sentenced on 3 July.

Eating whilst driving...a motorbike (pic)

2008-05-20T14:34:00.001+01:00

There is a video of this kicking about somewhere on the web... - let me know if you find it!

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Taiwanese man has been pictured eating noodles while riding a motorbike.

The rider is seen to take out a pair of chopsticks before tucking in as he rides along the road.

The man is heard shouting at the camera: "These noodles smells really good, but I am riding the motorbike, what should I do? Whatever!"

The video clip has become a big hit on forums in Taiwan.

Police say according to an analysis of the clip the incident could have taken place around Yuanlin or Zhanghua town.

Miao Renwei, head of traffic police in Zhanghua town says if the location is confirmed they'll search for the man, who faces a hefty fine.

Giant jigsaw

2008-05-20T10:53:00.001+01:00

5 pieces missing - must have been gutting.

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A man took 18 months to complete a giant 18,235-piece jigsaw - only to find there were five bits missing.

Malcolm Butterworth, 70, worked on it in a bedroom at his home in Llandudno, Conwy, after his wife Margaret threw him out of the lounge.

However, the 10ft by 7ft (3m x 2.1m) puzzle was finally finished after makers Ravensburger sent the missing segments through the post from Germany.

As he came to the end of the task, however, he realised five pieces were missing.

"I contacted the company and they were very helpful, and sent me the pieces after I measured the co-ordinates of the missing bits and sent them photographs."

The company also came to the rescue when Mr Butterworth decided to glue the finished piece on a board.

"It would have been impossible to glue from underneath, but they had a special glue which you paint over the top, which then seeps down through the gaps between the pieces," he said.

MeatWater

2008-05-19T10:20:00.001+01:00

Wow. Thanks to reimers (clipmarks) for this one!

clipped from dinnerinabottle.com

"MeatWater™ conforms the chaotic standards"

Giant sand sofa

2008-05-18T20:10:00.001+01:00

Very very cool!

clipped from theofftopic.com

Row over fish in urinal

2008-05-17T18:29:00.001+01:00

The best bit - "The owner added that the fish were intended as an attraction for diners and were not used in dishes." )

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Chinese restaurant has been criticised - for keeping ornamental fish in a urinal.

The restaurant in Changchun city has around 20 fancy carp in the four-metre long trough in the gents' bathroom.

The Eastern Asian Economic and Trade Daily says experts have condemned the move as harmful to the fish and "disrespectful to China's fish culture".

A spokesman for the restaurant insisted the urinal contained a mixture of urine and water which was not harmful to the fish.

"The water is running, and each day we change the water at least twice and add oxygen into the water. It's not much different to a fish tank," he said.

The owner added that the fish were intended as an attraction for diners and were not used in dishes.

Guests seemed surprised to find fish swimming in the trough which has sign saying "Please urinate here" above it.

"If they didn't have the sign here I would have thought it was a new fish tank," said one diner, Mr Wang.

Motorcycle hearse (pic)

2008-05-17T18:26:00.001+01:00

Specially built for bikers' funerals.

clipped from www.ananova.com

A leather-clad former minister has had a motorcycle hearse built for bikers' funerals.

The Reverend Ray Biddiss hopes his unusual creations will be welcomed by the biking fraternity.

The motorbike pulls a glass, black and chrome coffin carriage with a steel deck that was designed by Mr Biddiss.

Grieving relatives can even travel on the pillion on the three-wheeler, which cost more than £18,000, and was converted by Devon firm, Wackey's Trikes, from a Suzuki Boulevard 1400cc Intruder.

Mr Biddiss, 54, a former minister at Pellon Baptist Church in Halifax, has been a biker since he was 15.

He designed the motorcycle hearse because he wanted to give people the opportunity to make their last goodbye the way they wanted to, rather than "what Church tradition dictates."

He is, he says, very passionate about "introducing choice into funerals" so that "every very personal final journey" ends up being "a true celebration of their life".

Funniest political quotes (UK)

2008-05-17T18:20:00.001+01:00

Numbers two and three are my personal favourites!

clipped from www.ananova.com

1) Boris Johnson: "I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as being decapitated by a Frisbee or of finding Elvis."

2) John Prescott: "The Green Belt is a Labour initiative and we intend to build on it."

3) Harriet Harman: "Tony Banks described the English fans arrested in Marseilles as brain-dead louts - that goes for me as well."

4) Robin Cook: "They found more dangerous chemicals in Coca-Cola's Dasani mineral water than they did in the whole of Iraq."

6) Boris Johnson: "Yes, cannabis is dangerous, but no more than other perfectly legal drugs. It's time for a rethink, and the Tory party - the funkiest, most jiving party on Earth - is where it's happening."

7) Margaret Thatcher: "I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."

10) Edward Heath: "Do you know what Margaret Thatcher did in her first Budget? Introduced VAT on yachts! It somewhat ruined my retirement."

Drunk in charge of a tractor

2008-05-15T11:22:00.001+01:00

Today's stupid contest winner!

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Polish farmer is facing jail after he drove his two ton tractor down a set of stairs in a drunken bet.

Tomasz Jankowski, 45, tried to drive his tractor down the city centre steps in the middle of a town square in Tczew in north west Poland after drinking with friends.

He said: "After a few vodkas the staircase seemed a lot wider than it really was and nowhere near as steep."

But the vehicle got jammed and he fled - only to be caught by police an hour later back in the pub after witnesses gave cops a description.

He was arrested and charged with damaging public property and drunk driving after a breath test showed he was two times over the legal drink driving limit.

The real life rocket-man

2008-05-15T11:10:00.001+01:00

This has got to be a future solution to commuting problems...

clipped from www.ananova.com

Switzerland's self-styled 'Rocket Man' has completed his first public flight with jet-powered wings strapped to his back.

Former fighter pilot Yves Rossy flew for five minutes at an altitude of around 8,200ft, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Mr Rossy pilot jumped from a plane and plummeted towards the earth, before his fall turned to a glide and he ignited the four small jet engines.

Once under power and using a lever to control the fuel, he had the freedom to soar where he chose.

Clearly enjoying his first public flight, at speeds of up to 186mph, Mr Rossy tipped his wings, flipped onto his back then levelled out again, performing a 360-degree roll.

Unlike Icaraus, the Greek mythological figure who flew too close to the sun and did not live to tell the tale, the 48-year-old landed safely using a parachute.

"This flight was excellent," he said afterwards. "It's like a second skin. If I turn to the left, I fly left. If I nudge to the right, I go right."

China bloggers cook up quake conspiracies

2008-05-14T10:23:00.001+01:00

In the city of Mianzhu, 60 miles from the epicentre, bloggers pointed to reports just weeks before the earthquake of a mass migration of more than one million butterflies.

Other bloggers seized upon an as yet unsubstantiated rumour that a Chinese geologist had predicted the earthquake in advance but had been stifled by the authorities, and by fear.

"On the seventh of May, a geologist predicted this [earthquake]," wrote one blogger. "But he didn't dare make it public."

Another blogger from Beijing wrote: “Everyone is talking about the rescue effort but they are not actually joining it.

“So, instead we should turn our thoughts to why [the authorities] didn’t forecast the earthquake and evacuate the people...

“Could it be that it was out of a desire for a peaceful Olympics?”

clipped from www.timesonline.co.uk

As the death toll in China's Sichuan province climbs, the nation’s bloggers
have joined together in the search for a scapegoat.

Broadband connections across the country are pulsing with rumours of "earthquake
omens" involving toads or butterflies - all allegedly ignored by the
authorities. Some even talk of a vast pre-Olympic conspiracy.

One blogger from Shandong province, in eastern China, wrote that more than a
month ago, he went to his local earthquake resesarch centre several times to
report that his animals had been disturbed and restless.

But, he wrote: "They not only ridiculed me, they accused me of making up
stories."

Other blogs link to Chinese newspaper reports of bizarre natural occurrences
in the past few weeks.

The Chutian Metropolis Daily reported that on April 26, 80,000 tonnes of water
suddenly drained from a large pond in Enshi, Hubei province. The province
shares a border with Chongqing Municipality, which was devastated by the
earthquake on Monday

Record breaking bullock

2008-05-13T10:12:00.001+01:00

Impressive.

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A Somerset animal sanctuary is hoping one of its bullocks will be officially named as Britain's tallest cow.

The 6ft 6in Friesian, called Chilli, towers over other cattle at Ferne Animal Sanctuary in Chard.

"We have checked farms and sanctuaries across the country and we have been unable to find a cow even near his height," said the sanctuary's Jo Fox.

Workers have applied to the Guinness Book of Records to have Chilli named as Britain's tallest cow.

Chilli, who now weighs more than a tonne (1,000kg), arrived at the sanctuary when he was six days old.

"He is lucky to still be alive," said Ms Fox.

"It is unusual for Friesians to live to this age as they are usually slaughtered for beef in their youth."

The closest in height to Chili was one recorded in Dorset at six foot one inch in 2007.

The sanctuary is currently going through the checking process with Guinness.

Man cuts up car in clamp protest

2008-05-12T10:08:00.001+01:00

I'm not clear exactly how he 'got one over' on the parking attendants, but it seems to have made him happy!

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A man has sawn his car in half with an angle-grinder in protest at it being clamped outside his home.

Ian Taylor, from Tredworth, Glos, said the untaxed Ford Fiesta was parked on his drive with only part of a rear wheel poking out on to the pavement.

The 40-year-old builder said the vehicle was going to be scrapped anyway, but he wanted to make a point.

A spokesman for NCP Services said half of the car was parked on the road and should therefore have been taxed.

Mr Taylor bought the Fiesta for his stepson with the intention of restoring it, but it was beyond economical repair.

Mr Taylor said he made several efforts to explain that the car had a SORN (Statutory Off Road Notification) certificate verifying it had not been driven on the road and that it had been parked on his drive.

"[I'm] happy I got one over on them. They're jobsworths, for the sake of an inch and a half on the path."

The campest old firm photo ever!

2008-05-12T09:57:00.004+01:00

I don't know who the photographer is - but wherever you are my friend - full credit!

The week in pictures

2008-05-11T20:16:00.001+01:00

Cute, awesome, scary and beautiful, this selcetion has the lot!

clipped from news.nationalgeographic.com

Lima, Peru, May 5, 2008—A baby black jaguar paws at the camera at the Huachipa Zoo.

clipped from news.nationalgeographic.com

Amarillo, Texas, May 6, 2008—A supercell—the strongest and most severe type of thunderstorm—lights up the sky over Amarillo.

clipped from news.nationalgeographic.com

Helmand Province, Afghanistan, May 7, 2008—U.S. Marines wait out a sandstorm at Camp Dwyer in southern Afghanistan.

clipped from news.nationalgeographic.com

Yangon, Myanmar (Burma), May 8, 2008— A small temple sits partially submerged in a rice field near the remains of a house destroyed by last weekend's devastating Cyclone Nargis.

clipped from news.nationalgeographic.com

Daisetta, Texas, May 8, 2008—Looking something like a prehistoric tar pit, a giant sinkhole yawns across the landscape of a southeast Texas town.

clipped from news.nationalgeographic.com

Vatican City, May 6, 2008—Wearing the uniforms that—in Pope Benedict XVI's words to them on May 5—"speak … of your commitment to serve God," some of the 33 new Swiss Guards march to their swearing-in ceremony.

clipped from news.nationalgeographic.com

Mount Everest, May 8, 2008—Chinese climbers display an Olympic torch, an Olympic flame lantern, and flags of China

Pelican 'bombs' bather in Florida

2008-05-11T20:01:00.001+01:00

Brings a whole new meaning to 'bird dropping' huh?

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A woman required 20 stitches to her face after a pelican crashed into her in the sea off Florida, apparently diving for fish.

The bird, which died in Thursday's collision, ripped a gash in Debbie Shoemaker's face as she bathed near the city of St Petersburg.

The city fire chief said he had never heard of a diving pelican hit a person.

Pelicans grow to up to 30lb (13kg) and can dive from heights of 60 to 70 feet (18 to 21 metres).

Ms Shoemaker, 50, returned home on Friday, the Associated Press reports.

Problem: feet too big. Answer: sue someone.

2008-05-07T16:12:00.001+01:00

The world, as I suspected, is slowly going mad.

clipped from www.ananova.com

A German court has ruled car maker Volvo has to pay compensation to a man who claimed his feet were too big to use the accelerator on his new car.

A judge in the southern German town of Wiesloch said the car makers should have catered for Michael Herzog's size 12 feet.

He went to court complaining the area around the accelerator of his new Volvo C70 coupe was too small to accommodate his feet.

The court ruled his feet were not abnormally large and the judge said the dealer should give the German five per cent off the price of his new car.

Under a court-supervised settlement, Herzog obtained a £1,350 refund to pay for a specially made pair of shoes that allowed him to squeeze his foot into the space.

He was also compensated for the time spent changing back into street shoes each time he got out of the car to meet clients.

100ft Lego tower (pic)

2008-05-07T08:31:00.002+01:00

How very cool.

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

A 100ft tower made out of Lego bricks will be verified as an official world record, organisers hope.

Thousands of children and their families used almost 500,000 bricks to build the structure at the Legoland theme park in Windsor, Berkshire.

The tower is designed to resemble a Viking longboat mast to mark the opening of the new Land of the Vikings.

It is yet to officially verified, but the next biggest Lego tower is just over 96ft built in Toronto last August.

The Viking mast tower was created over the Bank Holiday weekend with each of the top sections lifted into place with a crane.

Lego has recently celebrated the 50th anniversary of the iconic brick.

Penny Jenkins, the park's special events manager, said: "We are thrilled to [hopefully] bring the world record to Legoland Windsor after four days of hard work, not to mention nearly 500,000 bricks.

"It has been a great way to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Lego bricks."

Balding Penguin Gets Custom Wet Suit

2008-05-06T18:07:00.002+01:00

Modern technology at its very best! Go pingu!

clipped from news.nationalgeographic.com

A custom-crafted wet suit may have helped Pierre the African penguin, seen here, recover from a bout of baldness.

Biologists at the California Academy of Sciences commissioned the gear after Pierre began shedding his insulating, waterproof feathers, leaving him with an embarrassingly exposed behind.

Unwilling to plunge into the academy's penguin tank, Pierre ended up shivering on the sidelines while his 19 peers played in the water.

"He was cold; he would shake," said Pam Schaller, a senior aquatic biologist at the academy.

When a heat lamp failed to help, Schaller turned to Oceanic Worldwide, a supplier of dive gear based in San Leandro, California.

"We were really excited to do it," said Teo Tertel, company marketing specialist. "We heard most of these penguins only live to 20, and our little buddy there was already 25. Anything we could do to help them, we were all for it."

The ultimate dress-down Friday

2008-05-06T10:32:00.002+01:00

gah! It doesn't 'bare' thinking about

clipped from www.ananova.com

A new BBC TV show will ask people to go to work naked.

The plan is first for cameras to follow fully clothed employees at work and gauge their views on nudity, reports The Sun.

Some will be asked to pose for life-drawing classes to see how comfortable they feel in the buff in public.

After several weeks, the firm's staff will all be asked to come to work starkers for an event called Naked Friday.

The idea is to look at people's attitudes to nudity, body image and the role clothes play in office hierarchy.

In a letter inviting companies to take part in BBC3's Naked Office, producers assure potential participants the project would be a "very productive day as well as a day to remember".

Move over Crocodile Dundee, it's time for Crocdile Swansea...

2008-05-01T11:05:00.001+01:00

In many parts of the world the spotting of a croc would not be news. In the UK however, it's a different story!

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Swansea man claims to have seen a crocodile living in a rubbish-strewn local lake next to a supermarket.

Steve Jenkins, 38, is convinced he spotted the 3ft-long beast as he walked his dog, reports The Sun.

He told police he saw the croc lurking in the shallows but couldn't get a picture.

Police visited the 20ft-deep pool several times and found nothing.

But they are not ruling out Steve's sighting being a pet crocodile that was dumped by its owner and children have been warned to stay clear of the lake.

Steve, who lives nearby, said: "People think I was seeing things but it was definitely a crocodile.

"But I don't care what people think, I know what I saw."

Natural history professor Paul Brain, of Swansea University, said: "There are a lot of exotic pets out there and this could be one which outgrew its tank. The lake may have been a suitable place to dump it.

"It would shut down during cold weather then spring to life when the water gets warmer."

Quote of the day

2008-04-30T14:43:00.001+01:00

"They're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike."

Gay bishop attacks Archbishop of Canterbury

2008-04-30T08:16:00.001+01:00

The row continues...

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

The first openly gay Anglican bishop has accused the Archbishop of Canterbury of failing to confront critics of his appointment.

US bishop Gene Robinson, who has received death threats, said Rowan Williams's handling of rhetoric against gay Anglicans could endanger them.

He said God was "very disappointed" in the way Dr Williams had failed to confront Nigeria's Archbishop Akinola.

He also said Dr Williams had criticised the US church but not others.

BBC correspondent Robert Pigott said the archbishop has, in fact, spoken out against inflammatory language.

Earlier this month, Dr Williams denounced what he called disgraceful death threats against members of a gay Anglican group, he said.

Gene Robinson, an openly-gay divorced father-of-two, was elected bishop of New Hampshire in 2003, but his appointment was heavily criticised.

He says that since then numerous death threats have been made against him and he now wears a bullet-proof vest for some public appearances.

Seriously impressive car stunt

2008-04-29T14:29:00.001+01:00

Not for the faint-hearted...

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Chinese man performed a breathtaking stunt by driving a car across two steel cables suspended 150ft above a river.

Liu Suozhu, 48, of Henan province, completed the 750ft journey over Miluo River in Pingjiang city, Hunan province.

Liu, who is nicknamed the Car King in China, drove the motor from a platform in front of tens of thousands of cheering spectators.

During his 30-minute journey, Liu communicated with the performance host via radio, which was broadcast to the audience.

"The cables are a bit shaky, not very stable... the slope is very steep," the showman said, to more cheers from the crowd.

Liu says the last few minutes were the most difficult and dangerous because the steep slope blocked his rear view. He stopped several times during the last section of his journey.

Frog-dog

2008-04-28T14:24:00.001+01:00

Cute or cruel? You decide!

clipped from www.ananova.com

A chihuahua in a scuba suit has won a canine fashion show in the Philippines.

Five-year-old Mondex wore a four-legged wetsuit, air bottle, four little flippers and goggles for the day.

Mondex was joined by other pampered pooches in the pet fashion show held in a mall in suburban Manila.

He faced stiff competition from Tucker, another five-year-old chihuahua, who was dressed as a cowboy but eventually emerged victorious.

Rumours that he is now set to pursue a career as a police frog-dog are understood to be wide of the mark.

Television company fined for making gays look 'normal'

2008-04-25T10:07:00.001+01:00

Shocking. Imagine portraying a normal family life...

clipped from www.pinknews.co.uk

Singapore's City State Regulator has fined a television station £5000 for featuring a gay couple in way that makes them look 'normal.'

The Media Development Authority fined MediaCorp TV for featuring the couple with their adoptive son, claiming that it "promoted a gay lifestyle."

Homosexual sex is illegal in Singapore, however, in October 2007, the Singapore government declared that private, consensual, adult homosexual sex would no longer be prosecuted but that its illegality would remain.

The authority said the episode contained scenes of the gay couple with their baby and the presenter's congratulations and acknowledgment of them as a family unit "in a way which normalizes their gay lifestyle and unconventional family setup."

Earlier in the year a cable television station were fined £3500 for showing a commercial where two women kissed.

In its Annual Worldwide Press Freedom Index , Reporters Without Borders ranked Singapore 147 out of 167.

Stabbed? I didn't feel a thing...

2008-04-21T11:31:00.001+01:00

A fine example of the follies of drinking games and the benefits of alcohol as an anaesthetic...

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Russian electrician who spent a night with a ten-inch kitchen knife in his back only realised when he got home and his wife saw it.

A drinking pal of Yuri Laylin, 53, plunged the knife into his back after playing a variation on Russian roulette during a boozy night out in Vologda.

In the game, a blindfolded pal was given a knife and made random stabbing motions as his pals danced around him after drinking large amounts of vodka.

Yuri said he had no idea his pal had actually stabbed him and did not feel any pain when he went home.

He only realised what had happened when his wife saw him on the bed with the knife in his back and called an ambulance.

He said: "We had a few vodkas and I remember playing some silly games and someone had a large knife. I came home, went to sleep as usual and woke up when my wife started screaming. Only then did I realise what had happened."

Doctors who treated him said the knife had gone four inches into his back but had missed vital organs.

Something to smile about!

2008-04-19T21:00:00.001+01:00

Giant tongue!
Originally uploaded by skodie

For all she regularly drives me up the wall, Mya does make me smile! It's hard to believe that two months ago she was so terrified of anything that she would literally try to climb walls to get away. Now, if only we could crack the house training once and for all!

Hedgehog: the latest must-have pet...

2008-04-16T19:44:00.001+01:00

Pricks Leave the wild animals where they are.

clipped from uk.news.yahoo.com

Busy pet lovers have been buying hedgehogs, whose nocturnal habits make them appealing to the modern worker because they wake in the evening when their owners arrive home after a day in the office.
Although Britain has its own wild breed of hedgehogs, the latest pet craze focuses on African pygmy hedgehogs -- a cross between Algerian and white-bellied hedgehogs.
"They are unbelievably pretty little creatures&, the way they bumble along, the way they poke their noses into everything," hedgehog breeder Bonnie Martin told Reuters.
Initial costs for the animal and accompanying equipment can run to 300 pounds. But hedgehogs, who can survive on cat food, are cheaper to feed because they eat a third of the household cat's daily diet, Martin said.

Man falls down lift shaft. Meets woman.

2008-04-15T10:31:00.001+01:00

They do say things happen for a reason...

clipped from www.ananova.com

A German man survived a 25ft plunge down a lift shaft when he landed on a woman who had fallen down it a day before.

Jens Wilhelms, 27, was unhurt after landing on the 57-year-old woman and managed to free himself from the shaft at the apartment block in Frankfurt am Main where he lived.

He called out rescue services who took the woman to hospital.

Doctors said she is in a critical condition after sustaining injuries in her original fall - and then again when Wilhelms landed on her.

Wilhelms said he had slipped as he walked past the lift shaft which had been left open as it was undergoing repairs.

Police are investigating how the woman fell and also why the lift shaft had not been properly sealed off.

English, innit?

2008-04-11T12:07:00.001+01:00

You call for a taxi and instead get... a cabinet. Funny, innit.

clipped from www.ananova.com

A teenager reportedly ended up with a cabinet instead of a taxi because she asked directory inquiries for a "cab, innit".

According to The Sun, the Londoner, 19, wanted a taxi to take her to Bristol airport, and first used the Cockney rhyming slang "Joe Baxi".

When the operator told her she couldn't find anyone by that name, the teen replied: "It ain't a person, it's a cab, innit."

The operator then found the nearest cabinet shop, Displaysense, and put the girl through.

She then spoke to a bemused saleswoman and eventually demanded: "Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit. I need it for 10am. How much is it?"

The sales adviser said it would be £180 and the girl gave her address and paid with a credit card. The next morning, an office cabinet was delivered to her South London home.

Marketing manager Steve Whittle said: "We thought it was a joke at first but the girl was absolutely livid. We have suggested that maybe she should speak a bit clearer on the phone."

Germany in shock: a polar bear eats a fish

2008-04-09T11:02:00.001+01:00

"The Frankfurter Allgemeine news website reports that Knut "senselessly murdered the carp", fishing them out, playing with them and then leaving the remains."

Doh. It's a polar bear. It has a natural instinct. It is SUPPOSED to kill fish. Hand-rearing it may mess with its head, but it will not remove instinct. And nor should it. Also, anyone who thought the carp would be left alone to eat algae and remain intact is stupider than those who succumbed to "Knut-mania" int he first place. And if somebody put the carp in there to show that the polar in question was a wild animal and not some sort of vegetarian celebrity then good on them! An animal is an animal. Full stop.

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

Germany's celebrity polar bear Knut has triggered a new controversy by fishing out 10 live carp from his moat and killing them in front of visitors.

Critics say Berlin Zoo should not have put live fish inside Knut's enclosure. But German media report that the carp were put there to eat up algae.

There is speculation that hand-reared Knut killed the carp just for fun.

A new polar bear cub - Flocke - made her public debut at Nuremberg Zoo on Tuesday, shown live on television.

But the zoo has said it wants to avoid any repetition of "Knut mania". Knut was rejected by his mother, but Berlin Zoo decided to hand-rear him, in a controversial move.

There has been heated debate about whether cubs rejected by their mothers should be saved or whether nature should be allowed to run its course.

The Frankfurter Allgemeine news website reports that Knut "senselessly murdered the carp", fishing them out, playing with them and then leaving the remains.

Reality strikes

2008-04-08T14:14:00.002+01:00

The dog is still not house-trained. Where are we going wrong?

She peed this morning, apparently, not 40 minutes after her walk. We reckon it may be through pure spite. Princess Nightmare strikes again.

Mind you, I'm not particularly well house-trained myself. I have no idea where the casserole dishes are kept, and I keep putting the cheese-grater back in in the wrong place.

I don't however, insist on chewing packaging, nor puncturing sweetie containers with my teeth.

Yet.

All this domestic bliss is a great way to fend off the odd bit of anxiety which comes from starting one's own business. It is terrifying. It hit me properly last night. We are taking on a massive responsibility. But at the same time, it is going to be amazing.

It's like dogs really. They are incredible fun, great company and make me smile everyday. but equally, they require walked, cleaned, cleaned again, cleaned up after, walked again... You get the idea.

Thought for the day: Having a business is like having a dog. Which brings us round in a perfect circle to the dog's business and poo on the carpet.

The end.

Stupid robber

2008-04-08T14:02:00.001+01:00

No really, very stupid. In fact, he wins my stupid contest of the day.

clipped from www.ananova.com

A US man has been arrested after filling out a job application form before robbing a convenience store.

Police in Athens, Georgia, are now holding Demetrius Robinson, 28, as a suspect in a number of local armed robberies.

Robinson filled out the job application in the store to pass time until he and the clerk were alone, reports the Athens Banner-Herald.

After the last customer left, he went behind the counter, pressed a steak knife into the clerk's side and made off with the contents of the till, according to police.

Detective Jeff Clark said Robinson gave a bogus address on the form - but his real name and his uncle's telephone number.

"It's kind of strange, but, yes, that's what he did," he said.

Police still did not know where to find Robinson but an anonymous tip led officers to an apartment one block away from the store and he was arrested.

And yea, the goat shall lie down with the wolf...

2008-04-07T14:29:00.001+01:00

An unlikely yet strangely cute couple...

clipped from www.ananova.com

A Chinese zoo says a wolf and a goat have become unlikely sweethearts after sharing a cage together.

Keepers at the zoo, in White Tower Park, Nanchong city, says the pair have become inseparable.

"If the goat is gone for a bit, the wolf will howl and run frantically around the cage until she comes back," said keeper, Mr Xu.

Prey and predator only started dating by accident a month ago, Xu told the West China City News.

"Early one morning I opened the goat's fence to let her out to eat, and unexpectedly the wolf came out, because we hadn't locked his cage securely," he said.

"The wolf ran straight to the goat's fence, and started howling when it smelled the goat. The goat was so scared you could see her legs shaking."

Xu says he had to protect the goat until other employees came to help separate the animals.

"But for the next several nights the two started getting to know each other better, and even exchanged howls and baas. You could tell they were flirting," says Xu.

Beauty Pagent for Camels

2008-04-03T09:58:00.001+01:00

One hump or two? I'd give money to see the swimwear round...

clipped from www.ananova.com

Camel beauty pageant

A beauty pageant is being held in Abu Dhabi - for camels.

Ten thousand camels will compete against each other with the chance of their owners winning more than £4m in prize money and up to 100 cars and other prizes to be won.

Camels from Bahrain, Kuwait, Oman, Qatar and Saudi Arabia will take part in the competition.

The contest is part of the Mazayin Dhafra festival, with a panel of expert camel appreciators judging each age group.

The ruler of Abu Dhabi, Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed, has sponsored the event in its six years, reports BBC online.

You are what you eat

2008-04-02T10:20:00.003+01:00

The dogs are regretting their actions last night.

We went out for two hours and came home to discover that a box of boiled sweets which had lain untouched on the coffee table for days (with its lid on) had been torn into and the contents eaten.

Rhubarb and custard and cola cubes.

Their tummies are not quite sure what has happened. The office windows are open (Mya is farting like a trooper) and they look a little forlorn.

Lesson of the day: dogs will eat boiled sweets. Mya will eat pretty much anything. Leave nothing unattended.

In other news, we got the cafe lease and we have the keys! Phots and info available to view on www.sithcafe.com and www.sithcafe.blogspot.com.

Join the network and support the cafe venture at www.sithnetworks.ning.com

Behold the Remote control Hummer (and it's full-size!)

2008-04-01T10:34:00.001+01:00

Dear Santa...

clipped from www.ananova.com

University boffins have created the ultimate boy's toy - a full-sized remote control Hummer H3.

Engineers from Cranfield University, Bedfordshire, took a month to convert the £34,000 car into an oversized child's toy.

Dr James Brighton, who masterminded the project, said: "All controllers will be amazed by the handling ability - the best any radio-controlled vehicle has had to date.

"The vehicle is capable of climbing a 407mm vertical wall, traverse a 40% slope and operate in up to 610mm of water."

Steve Catlin, from Hummer, said: "Hummer is like no other - as the ultimate workhorse it is built for action and can handle off-roading with ease but also has a unique, iconic style.

"What better way to show off the definitive big boy's toy than converting the Hummer H3 into a remote controlled car?"

Perhaps fortunately, children will not be able to put the remote controlled Hummer on their Christmas list. It was built only as a project and won't be commercially available.

Snake bursts after gobbling gator

2008-03-30T09:36:00.001+01:00

Hic!

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

Snake bursts after gobbling gator

An unusual clash between a 6-foot (1.8m) alligator and a 13-foot (3.9m) python has left two of the deadliest predators dead in Florida's swamps.

The Burmese python tried to swallow its fearsome rival whole but then exploded.

The remains of the two giant reptiles were found by astonished rangers in the Everglades National Park.

The rangers say the find suggests that non-native Burmese pythons might even challenge alligators' leading position in the food chain in the swamps.

The python's remains were found with the victim's tail protruding from its burst midsection. The head of the python was missing.

"Encounters like that are almost never seen in the wild... And here we are," Frank Mazzotti, a University of Florida wildlife professor, was quoted as saying by the Associated Press news agency.

Whoop! My geekery has reached a whole new level!

2008-03-28T23:02:00.002Z

Check it out...I created my first Facebook application!

I took the RSS feed from the lastest activities element of my social network, and used Widgetbox to turn it into a Blidget. Then I used the Widgetbox tool to turn it into a Facebook app...

Rockin.

My eyes are sore, the dogs are bored and I'm wearing a woolly hat indoors. But, by god, I've done it!

Add it to your profile right here: http://apps.facebook.com/sithnetworksactivity

If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs!

2008-03-28T07:47:00.001Z

Previous winners include the following, and I've read one of them, canyone guess which??

The Joy of Chickens
American Bottom Archaeology
Versailles: The View From Sweden
Re-using Old Graves
Highlights in the History of Concrete
The Joy of Sex: Pocket Edition
Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers
The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories
People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It
The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

Legs manual wins odd title prize

A self-help guide called If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs has been voted the oddest book title of the year.

The book beat off competition from I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen to win The Bookseller magazine's prize.

Cheese Problems Solved took third place in a poll which attracted 8,500 votes.

Joel Rickett, deputy editor of The Bookseller, said of the winner: "So effective is the title that you don't even need to read the book itself."

He added that it "makes redundant an entire genre of self-help tomes".
The manual, whose author is named Big Boom, is described as a "self-help book, written by a man for the benefit of women".

Bookseller's contest began in 1978, and the roll-call of previous winners includes High Performance Stiffened Structures, Living with Crazy Buttocks and How To Avoid Huge Ships.

Gran drives 15 miles wrong way up motorway

2008-03-27T19:37:00.001Z

Oops.

clipped from www.ananova.com

An 81-year-old grandmother was pulled up by police - after driving 15 miles the wrong way up a motorway.

Martha Harwood, of Darwen, Lancs, became confused by a new roundabout layout and drove up the exit slip road at junction six of the M65.

She then cruised past seven junctions before police stopped her, seized her vehicle and drove her home, reports the Daily Mirror.

Four people were taken to hospital and the road was shut for five hours after her 40mph bid to get home from a pal's house.

The retired florist said: "At first I didn't think anything was wrong. It was quiet. Then I saw cars coming towards me. It was quite scary and I didn't know what to do.

"The officers were really nice. They asked if I had been drinking but I feel very strongly about that and would never drink and drive. I haven't decided if I will stop driving. I feel a bit silly about what has happened."

Martha was not arrested after Monday night's drama but officers warned she could lose her licence.

Russian farmer sues space agency for falling rocket

2008-03-26T16:11:00.001Z

"Residents in the neighboring village of Ust-Kan said rocket pieces regularly rain down on their area. Parts of the surrounding countryside are designated special zones where people may not go during the launches."

Wow. That would cause quite a headache.

clipped from news.yahoo.com

Russian farmer sues space agency for falling rocket

BARNAUL, Russia (Reuters) -
A shepherd is suing Russia's
space agency for compensation after he said a 10-foot-long
chunk of metal from a space rocket fell into his yard, just
missing his outdoor toilet.

Boris Urmatov, who is asking for 1 million roubles
($42,000) from the Roskosmos agency, lives in a small village
that lies underneath the flight path of rockets taking off from
the Baikonur launchpad Russia leases in nearby Kazakhstan.

"Something woke him up in the night, like something
exploded. Since he's visually handicapped he didn't notice the
fallen rocket parts," Urmatov's sister Marina told Reuters from
the village of Kyrlyk, in Russia's Altai region.

"But in the morning in front of the shepherd hut he saw
this enormous metal casing, as smooth as an egg," she said by
telephone from the village, which is 2,175 miles east of
Moscow. "It nearly crushed the outhouse."

'Praying' dog at Japanese temple

2008-03-25T09:26:00.001Z

It's the picture that gets me - fabulous!

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

'Praying' dog at Japanese temple

Attendance at a Buddhist temple in Japan has increased since the temple's pet, a two-year-old dog, has joined in the daily prayers.

Conan, a Chihuahua, sits on his hind legs, raises his paws and puts them together at the tip of his nose.

"He may be showing his thanks for treats and walks," says a priest at Jigenin temple on Okinawa island.

Priest Joei Yoshikuni would like Conan to meditate, but "it's not like we can make him cross his legs", he says.

"Basically, I am just trying to get him to sit still while I meditate," he told Associated Press news agency.

Mr Yoshikuni said it only took Conan a few days to imitate the motions of praying.

"I think he saw me doing it all the time and got the idea to do it too," he said.

Jigenin temple now gets 30% more visitors than it did before Conan joined in the prayers, Mr Yoshikuni said.

See-saw power station

2008-03-25T09:23:00.001Z

Genius.

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk

See-saw to power African schools

A young inventor is hoping to tap the unbounded energy of children in a playground to power schools in Africa.

Design student Daniel Sheridan has created a simple see-saw which generates enough electricity to light a classroom.

The device works by transferring the power, created by a child moving up and down on it, to an electricity storage unit via an underground cable.

The Coventry University student has won £5,500 in funding to develop the idea.

The 23-year-old consumer product design student scooped the cash at two separate university student enterprise award schemes and now has enough money to create a working prototype.

Loving the long weekend

2008-03-24T20:02:00.004Z

Oh yes. The long weekend has been an absolute god-send. We have got through a pile of cafe planning, a ton of website building, had a new sofa delivered (it's gorgeous by the way!) and celebrated the first night that the new dog has not peed in the house. Woohooo! I have caught up on sleep too. Which is nice.

Also, as if all that was not enough, there has been a whole day of my favourite programme in the world ever... Now, don't laugh. Promise? Okay...here it is!

12 hours of it back to back and I still love it. I can't get enough of families being made happy.

And tonight...the first first episode of the new series airs in the UK.

Can it get any better?

Yes. It can, but only the dog not peeing two nights in a row will do it.

ps. Big up Pizza Hut home delivery. Yet another small thing that gives a lot of joy!

Finding love takes at least 10 one night stands...

2008-03-22T22:38:00.001Z

Apparently this weekend is the best time to find love. Awww.

In other news, if I look at one more catering equipment company website I will not be responsible for my actions.

clipped from www.ananova.com

Love takes time

Brits take an average of 22 dates, three one-night stands and three long-term relationships before settling down, says a new poll.

Couples revealed how long it had taken to find The One for entertainment website BT PodShow.

Some needed as many as 50 dates with potential partners. And nine per cent reckon it takes at least ten one-night stands.

Talking regularly and an active sex life were what people were looking for.

Poor personal hygiene, no sense of humour and being bad in bed were the biggest turn-offs, the poll found.

The good news for those still searching is this weekend is the best chance of the year to banish those single days.

Relationship expert Jo Hemmings said: "The four-day Bank Holiday gives us double the free time of a normal weekend, so double the chances to enjoy ourselves and find love.

"And the onset of spring, a full moon and an abundance of chocolate Easter eggs will all play their part."

Beware: crucifixion is bad for the health

2008-03-20T10:31:00.001Z

The government is encouraging them to get a tetanus shot first and be sure to use a clean whip or nails, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Consider yourself warned.

"We are not trying to go against the Lenten tradition here because whipping has somewhat already become some form of atonement for sins for some of us," Health Secretary Francisco Duque the 3rd said.

The festival is sponsored by Coca-cola and a company called Smart Telecommunications.

clipped from www.ananova.com

Health warning against crucifixion

The Philippines government has issued an Easter public heath warning - on the dangers of crucifixion.

Thousands of worshippers in the Philippines will this week practice crucifixion and self flagellation to show their faith.

Ananova:

Health warning against crucifixion

The Philippines government has issued an Easter public heath warning - on the dangers of crucifixion.

Thousands of worshippers in the Philippines will this week practice crucifixion and self flagellation to show their faith.

The government is encouraging them to get a tetanus shot first and be sure to use a clean whip or nails, reports the Daily Telegraph.